Chance

“Give me some sunshine, give me some rain. Give me another chance, i wanna grow up once again…”
Wake me up. I want to wake up from this drowning sadness that disintegrates my very soul. If everything happens for a reason then why? Why would You let this happen? Why would You let them take him and leave me stranded? Heavy rain keeps pouring from my eyes, Hanging words cant get to him anymore. I cant seem to find the reason why.
The box was opened and he was there. He was lying there… I touched his hand! Oh how i long for that touch. The touch that was kept from me when he was still alive. Why wont you hold me back? I know you’re only sleeping. I know that every once in a while, you still open your eyes. Daddy please open the box they put you in? Daddy will you stand up and kiss me on the forehead? Daddy can you please leave that box they call a coffin? Dad come back.. I need you.. I have failed to be my best, to shout out your greatness, to make you feel how much i love you and how thankful i am that you’re my father when you still walk the earth. I didn’t tell you how proud i am and i will never hear how proud you’ll be.
Please be my hero again and save me. Can you show up and hug me? Even in a dream so i’ll believe everything that’s happening? It’s hard. No, not hard. It’s a mixture of a thousand bullet, hot burning fire, cold; freezing cold, sharpest knives and all things dreadful combined making its way into my system. But i wont let go and give into it for i have to give you justice. One day, ill find him and make him experience hell. Daddy i’ll make him regret. One way or another i’ll see to it that like me, he wont be able to grasp reality for it will be too painful to bear.
Wake me up or wake up, hatred and sadness is eating me whole. I’m scared for the day that nothing will be left of me. Those lights when i was young, i want to see them again. Show me those lights again dad. You took me and carried me from the dark room they kept me in when i was a child. Daddy, i’ll always be a child and i need you again. Only now, it’s different. Im no longer in that dark room but in a darker place and no help from you will come.
I love you dad. Please come and get me. I just need another chance…

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